Slow-Cooked Lamb

Hi peeps!

So...it's that time of year when I get down on my hands and knees and rummage around the back of my pan drawer in a frantic bid to retrieve my trusty Le Creuset. My dutch oven, you see, hibernates all summer and only makes an appearance when there's that unmistakeable chill in the air, icicles on window panes, misty street lamps lighting grey skies...

Yup, it's definitely winter o'clock folks - time for mistletoe, jingle bells, and of course - taking comfort in the season's bounty with some warm, hearty winter fare for everyone to gather around and share in true holiday spirit.

Hence, I get down on my hands and knees and successfully retrieve my trusty Le Creuset.
It's a beautiful pot - red enamelled cast iron sitting bejewelled against my black granite counter. I love it. The way it looks, it's sheer weight; and the incredible stuff it cooks.

We're making slow-cooked lamb today - deeply comforting, aromatic, and full of flavour.

Here's what you need:
- 1 kg diced lamb
- 4 large onions, sliced
- 1 head of garlic
-  Herbs (I used 2 sprigs each, thyme, rosemary and 3 bay leaves)
- 250ml balsamic vinegar
- 3tbs olive oil

Here's how you do it:
Add the olive oil to the slow cooker or dutch oven and add in the onions. Sit the lamb cubes on top of the onions, then add the balsamic vinegar. Top with herbs. Let cook on low heat for 3 hours.

By the way, in case you're interested - what the oven is doing in those 3 hours - while you do nothing but twiddle your thumbs and use every last reserve of will power to stop yourself from opening the lid and devouring the contents within - is actually slowly braising the lamb in it's own sauce to ensure that the meat's full, immense flavour is drawn out. Brilliant, isn't it?

Now I've had lots of hits and misses with lamb - undercooked, overcooked, burnt (yup that one left me crying for years)...but with the dutch oven, it's hard to go wrong. 6 ingredients, 1 pot. Our meltingly tender lamb dish virtually cooks itself.

And anyway, I'm used to trial and error. I had to kiss lots of frogs, you see, before my pumpkin turned into a golden carriage and I found my Prince. I think I may have just mixed up two very different fairy tales, but you get my point, so it's all good folks, it's all good.

Honestly, get out a glass of red, an old book and sit back on your couch in the warmth of your home. Because nothing is more comforting than a languidly cooked one-pot meal, that simmers away on the back burner, infusing all those different flavours and textures and aromas into one gorgeous dish.

Enjoy x

Vive la France!

So...
Read enough expert opinion on food and they'll all have you believe that French food is as dead as the fish in your bouillabaisse.  Instead, they say, if you want to eat interesting food, go to New York, London, Tokyo, Copenhagen, San Sebastian...

Another trip back to our friendly, baguette-munching neighbours, and I've come to the conclusion that French food is really not.

Dead I mean.
At least for now. And at least in France. Despite all the articles claiming otherwise that keep popping up with such monotonous regularity.

In fact I think I blame New York and London (and other such cities that pride themsleves on being heaving metropolises of culinary sophistication and global gastronomic diversity) for the bad rap that French food has suffered of late. I challenge you to find a French restaurant in all of NYC or London that doesn't cost you your months pay check. For food that makes you wonder if they forget to transfer the rest of your serving from the cooking pot.

I have tried, believe me. Tried and failed. Truly. I have given my custom to several French establishments in London. Not because I'm a glutton for punishment, nor because I'm rich. Ha, trust me, that, I'm certainly not - but because I needed to convince myself, by myself, that this great city cannot, in fact, produce even one half-decent French restaurant. I did. Convince myself I mean. And become a glutton for punishment. Not to mention even less rich than I previously was. Which renders me virtually penniless.

Because after all that trial and error, you see, no matter where you go and how many red M-stars they showcase on their front door, the plate placed in front of you seems consistently to consist of some creative permutation or other of the below-mentioned:

A 2" x 2" cube of canard, sandwiched in between two layers of pastry, served on a crib (because bed would be too large) of pureed potatoes, with a single glazed carrot lying forlornly on one side and a perfectly shaped teardrop of mint-pea jus on the other. Sometimes you're fortuitous enough to deserve a sprig of rosemary scattered artistically across the plate. But only if the chef is feeling particularly generous.

It almost makes one too scared to eat, for fear that it will all be gone in one mouthful and you will be left staring for eternity at an empty plate. Until, that is, you conjure up the will to part with many notes with many zeros on them. That done, you no longer have to stare at your empty plate, because that's the point where you leave.

Then of course all the way home, you are trying (and yes, failing) to ignore the rumbling inside your tummy. And then, when you do get home, in a moment of weakness you  give in and call your trusty local Dominoes, who brings in a large pepperoni in 30 minutes or your money back and you pay him in coins because all your real money has been spent on the cube.

This by the way is after waiting about a month to get a booking because everybody else also apparently enjoys spending a great deal of money on a duck-cube.

I mean, what good are stars, chandeliers, or white gloved waiters when you need to go home after eating out and order pizza? In fact, every time I see the word "amuse" and "jus" on a menu I want to go in and slap the chef because it simply means he's not putting anything on my plate.

Then of course is the small matter of the service at these places. Everything you do is wrong. And everything you don't do is wrong. Basically, it's all wrong.
If you order tap water, you are wrong. If you don't order an aperitif you are wrong. If you ask for food suggestions, you are wrong. If you don't ask for wine suggestions, you're still wrong. Not ordering an appetiser is wrong, substituting fries (yes yes the french ones) for vegetables is wrong (or vice versa) and god forbid, if you dare to share your dessert, you are so wrong, you might as well just give up and go home. Or be prepared to endure that look from your waiter - albeit a white gloved one - yes the one that makes you feel like a school girl in pigtails being told off by the headmistress. Or a school boy. In whatever you boys did to your hair, how would I know. Anyway, you get my point. And that's just the thing you see - of the many crimes against gastronomy that I've encountered in my life - putting up with waiters who have perfected the art of treating paying patrons as an annoying inconvenience, is invariably the worst.

So. Yes. There's all this talk of the demise of French food.
Aha, you say.
You nod your head.
Precisement.

However.

I have just returned from sojourns to the land of fashion, love and food, and have to admit that all three - and most definitely the last - are not only very much alive; they are superlative.

Every Auberge kitchen we had the pleasure of dining in left us licking our chops.
Think:
Menus - creative
Portions - plentiful
Service - delightful
Price - affordable.
Win. Win. Win. Win.

Seriously.
And I'm not easy to please. Ask Siddy.

There's much too much to get into if I were to recount our every meal, but I will just one.
Which was one of the nicest meals in the history of ever.

This was a place we happened to walk into, basically because it was there. I mean we were walking by rather aimlessly and it was lunchtime and the place looked busy and bright and smelled great. Which is always a great give away by the way. In times of doubt, trust your nose. Anyway. The place is called L'Hydropathe if you're interested. (No, don't ask me what on earth it means.) (And why it rhymes with "psychopath".) (And yes, even though I'm heaping generous praise on the French for their good food doesn't mean I don't think they are a strange lot with strange names).

Anyway.

We order a plate of "guinea fowl stuffed with dried fruit"
And this is a thing of beauty.
Succulent meat heaving with bits of nutty, crunchy pistachios, and tiny diced pieces of fig. There's no creamy, heavy sauces here - just the natural juices that seep through from cooking the meat. Light, lush and packed with flavour. It is served simply with a handful of salad leaves that are so fresh I feel like they've just been picked from the chef's grandmothers garden.

The plat du jour (which I always, always recommend you get by the way - doesn't matter which restaurant, doesn't matter which part of France because it always emphasises the freshest of seasonal ingredients) is a "filet of perch served with legumes" (i.e vegetables).
The thick, meaty fish is flame grilled until hot and crisp on top, served alongside a cool lick of goat's cheese yogurt. Spankingly fresh. Under the fish sits basil-infused greens - broccoli, beans, courgette and the tiniest, most delicate leaves of Swiss chard that are so intense that I have a small head rush from the combined flavour of it all.
No words.

We didn't do too much dessert. Mostly for fear that if we started, we'd never stop.
And that's really not great for the waistline.
Which I constantly stress about.
I'm vain you see.
With a penchant for good food.
Which is such a tricky combination, sigh.

Anyhow, we did sample a knock-your-socks-off chocolate eclair; the outside surgery and warm, the inside, dark chocolate cream, both rich and delicate. And an apricot tart, all butter baked crusty heaven, the custard a dense sweet velvet. The apricots are astounding...orange circles of expertly caramelised flesh that veritably melt in your mouth. Utterly perfect.

All accompanied by a truly excellent glass of some Bordeaux red I'd never heard of before in my life.

No M-stars, no gilt-edged mirrors, no chandeliers, no white gloved waiters.
Just good food.

Maybe we got lucky.
Who knows.
What I do know is that the next time I'm invited to eat French food, I'm going to make sure it's in France.

That time of mellow fruitfulness

"Autumn," I say with a sigh, leaning back against my bed, knees scrunched up.

"It's here. That time of mellow fruitfulness, ala Keats..."

"Keats said that?" Sid asks looking up from his computer and peering into mine, "Or did you just make it up?"

"I'm good," I say. "But not that good."

"And stop eavesdropping on my blog."

"Don't you mean, 'leavesdropping" he says cheekily.

I give him an exasperated look and take myself and my computer downstairs.

My kitchen is warm and comforting, blanketed in the silent slumber of dawn.

I snuggle up on the couch and take in the aroma of cinnamon and freshly brewed coffee.

There's a squirrel in my garden, scurrying rapidly into a dishevelled pile of fallen leaves, then running away, then scurrying back again.

My silver birch shimmers in the early October sun.

Yes. Autumn is here.

Red leaves and golden mornings

Cool, crisp air

Misty breaths

Wistfulness

There is a peacefulness to autumn, a newness

I fell in love in the Autumn many years ago.

Mad, crazy, can't-live-wthout-you love.

Even the memory of it fills me with a warm, copper glow.

And yet it is tinged - ever so slightly - with melancholy. 

Another year almost gone.

My thoughts drift, thinking of all the years passed

And all that lies beyond.

I am restless suddenly

Like that squirrel in my garden 

I get up

And do what I do best.

Here's what you need:

For the fruit:

450g mixed fruit - I used apples, pears, plums, redcurrants and blackberries

Handful cranberries

2 sticks cinnamon

2 tbsp butter

100g sugar

Peeled, toasted almonds

For the custard:

550ml milk

55ml cream

½ tsp vanilla extract

4 egg yolks

30g caster sugar

2 tsp cornflour

Here's how you do it:

For the fruit: Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium heat. Sprinkle sugar over the butter, then place the apple, plum and pear slices in single layer on top. Then sprinkle blackberries and redcurrants. Throw in the cinnamon sticks. Increase heat to medium-high and press down on the fruit until it is all golden on the bottom, about 5 minutes. Turn fruit over and cook until the other side is caramelised, another 5 minutes. Add cranberries and cook until juices are reduced by about half, about 2 minutes.

For the custard: Whisk the yolks, sugar and cornflour together in a bowl until well blended.

Bring the milk and cream to simmering point slowly, over a low heat. Pour the hot milk and cream on to the egg and sugar mixture, whisking to keep the mixture soft and creamy.

Return to the pan, add vanilla extract, and gently stir over a low heat until the custard is thickened to your desired consistency.

Spoon the caramelised fruit into a deep glass bowl, pour the custard on top, sprinkle with almonds.

And dig in.

This is probably the most exciting thing I have done in a long time.

Bar gambling away my life savings in a wild, drunken night of shamshu and poker.

(Just kidding)

No really, there is a particular delight in eating hot fruit and custard.

Especially at 8 in the morning when no one in their right mind is eating pudding. 

I feel arms around me and a whisper in my ear.

My spoon gets stolen mid bite.

And I am in love, all over again.

In this time of mellow fruitfulness...

Blueberry Brownies for Ranbir

Me: Ranbir, today is your last day of 3. Tomorrow you are going to be 4!"

Ranbir: I know that

Me: So how many kissies do I get for your birthday?

Ranbir: 4, because I'm going to be 4

Me: Clever boy!

Ranbir: Yes, and when I'm 12, I'll give you 12 kissies. And when I'm 100, I'll give you 100.

Me: Haha, I don't think I'm going to be here when you're a 100!

Ranbir: Where will you be? Will you be in office?

Me: No my darling, I don't think so!

Ranbir: Then where will you be?

Me: I'll be somewhere in the sky and I'll be smiling down at you.

Ranbir: Will I still be able to see you?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is the point when I choked up so hard, I almost crashed the car.
So much for making it till my son is a 100.

Anyway.
To the most beautiful thing I have ever made in my life, this is for you.

Here's what you need:

- 5 ounces milk or dark (whatever you like or both mixed up) chocolate, finely chopped 
- 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
- 6 tablespoons unsalted butter 
- 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
- 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour (separately)
- 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
- 2 large eggs
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- 1 teaspoon  vanilla extract
- 1 cup fresh blueberries


Here's how you do it:

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.  

In a large saucepan, melt the butter and the chopped chocolate over low heat, whisking occasionally until the mixture is melted and smooth. Sprinkle in the cocoa powder and stir to combine. Remove the pan from the heat and allow to cool. 

Add in the vanilla essence, then stir in the sugar and the eggs and beat until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Once the batter is even, sprinkle 3/4 cup all-purpose flour and 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt over the surface of the batter. Gently fold the flour into the chocolate batter being careful not to over mix.

In a separate medium bowl, toss together the blueberries with the remaining 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour. Add the blueberry mixture into the brownie batter, being careful to fold the fruit evenly into the batter.

Transfer the batter into a greased baking pan. Spread to even out the top and place in the oven for 30-40 minutes until the brownies are slightly puffed but still moist and gooey and yummy in the middle. 

Allow to cool completely, then cut into small squares.

You can sprinkle some blueberries on top of the brownies. Mainly for prettiness.

Which I normally care about.

Just not this time.

In fact, this time, I'm making every attempt to hide the blueberries
Because Ranbir HATES Blueberries And all else that's good on this earth.
Which includes the entire spectrum of fresh fruit and vegetables.
But he's going to eat this.

Just because he made me cry like the baby he once was, doesn't mean I will let him get away with it.
Oh no.
Never.
Not even when he's a 100.

NRI Tamarind-Coconut Paneer

So the mother in law arrived last week armed with chapatis and a copy of Tarangini.

About time they learn a little about our culture she said good-naturedly.

With just the tiniest hint of a rebuke.

Rightly so, I have to admit. We totally deserve it. 

I say "we" because I'm hardly going to singularly shoulder the responsibility of being a failed NRI parent.

Oh no. I'm only one half of a failed NRI parent.

The better half, may I add

Prettier and more virtuous.

Cleverer.

And everything.

Anyway, so Sid and I have moaned about this topic all too often. We realise this is a problem. But it's not for lack of an effort, I promise you, it's not. It's just that all past attempts to impart pearls of wisdom and knowledge about the rights and rituals of the subcontinent are met largely with a blank face and a "pardon?"

(because he's been told by godknowswho that one must say "pardon" and not "what")

That's the 4-year old of course.

The 8-month old only giggles uncontrollably.

The 8-month old you see is in this binary phase, where he finds life either hysterically funny or hysterically tragic.

This, clearly, is hysterically funny territory.

Just to clarify, it's not that Ranbir is not interested. When it comes to India, Ranbir is highly interested in what he is interested in.

For example, when Sid or I are flicking through TV channels and a Hindi movie is on, especially one that involves random crowds of people bashing each other up in the middle of a street, we are required to stop and watch. That, he's thoroughly fascinated by.

Also, to be fair, he knows the major festivals and will don his colourful kurta-pajama and sit and pray and sing the songs and light the sparklers or sprinkle the colours (whatever the occasion necessitates) and have himself a wonderful time.

But getting the substantive stuff across is a losing battle. What's frustrating is that it's met not by a lack of interest, but by amusement.

He - like his brother - thinks it's funny.

Which drives me mad.

I mean people wax eloquent about their kids been tri and quadri lingual. We are barely making bi!

How does a kid who can string together - "Don't panic, mum, I have a brilliant idea to save the world" not get that "idhar aao" accompanied by exaggerated hand gestures, means "come here?"

"If you don't learn Hindi," I say to him, "how will you visit Dadi and Dadaji and Nanu and Didima in India?" These are  his favourite people, by the way, grandparents all, who spoil him rotten, ignoring with reckless abandon any and all rules I have audaciously set in place.

"oooooh In-dia!!"

Then. 

"I want to go to In-dia, Mama. Can we go to In-dia in an eearoplane?"

"Yes we can," I say, "but you need to learn Hindi first."

The second half of my sentence has been glazed over. Completely.

"I want to go in an eearoplane."

"Can I watch videos on the eearoplane?"

Sigh.

So, while the in laws are away in Germany on holiday, I devise a plan.

See, it's like this: I read to the boys every morning while they have their milk. It's a quiet half-hour we spend together, the three of us, and we cherish this time. 

Ranbir gets to pick the book-of-the-day. Yesterday he got "The Highway Rat" by Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler. Today I tell him to get "Tarangini" by Swami Chinmayananda and Swamini Saradapriyananda.

My plan: I will read him a story from Tarangini every day the in laws are away so by the time they're back, he'll have known at least five or six of them.

Which fact, he will promptly inform them of, because that's what children do.

And then I'll get to gloat a little.

It's my "brilliant idea to save the world."

Ha.

Tarangini is a collection of eighteen short stories. We decide to start at the very beginning - which as Maria tells us - is a very good place to start.

The first story is titled Lord Ganesha.

I'm genuinely excited about this. I bring a statue of Lord Ganesh I have in my bedroom, and I tell Ranbir that the story we're about to read is all about him - the Elephant God.

Ranbir's excited too.

And the baby seems excited. Well, at least he's not gone all red in the face and bawling like he's got chilli powder in his Huggies. Which, in a binary world, means, he's excited.

So basically - we're all excited.

Three pages later when I come to the bit where "In a fit of rage, Shiva chopped off the boy's head..." my excitement wanes a little and I decide that perhaps this story is best told in a different medium.

I close the book.

Fail.

So, I change tack.

And reach for the iPad. Yep, that brilliant invention, that saviour of all saviours, that commodity as indispensable as disposable nappies - the iPad!

Because, if there is one way to keep things interesting, it is this.

So I go to YouTube and put in "Children's Story Lord Ganesha."

And I get 12,700 hits.

I click on the first one - it's got an image of a cute little kid staring back at me.
And then we wait, the three of us, with bated breath.

The beginning is brilliant, all lovely animation and all, little boy complete with chubby cheeks and dimpled chin, calling out "Mother" in the sweetest little voice; Parvati, embracing him, beaming all around.

We are all as delighted as Parvati.

Minutes later - and really without any warning at all - Shiva chops off the little boy's head. As in, the severed head flies off on a little jolly into the sky. I mean, I know, I know, it's Lord Ganesha's story, of course there's no avoiding the chopped head and all. But I expected a children's version to tone it down a bit you know? Like Disney? No?

At least the book built up nicely to Shiva's fit of rage. Here in the children's video, we go from Shiva coming home to Shiva chopping off heads in like 3 seconds. Very bad. 

Now, blood splatters here, there and everywhere.

The baby is gurgling happily at the screen. He still finds the world funny.

But the 4-year old has turned white.

As if he's not Caucasian enough.

When Shiva ends up holding the boys head, duly descended from the sky, in his hands with the headless body of the boy running around him in circles, I lurch forward for the power button.

For a few minutes no one says anything.

Then I get, "Mama, why did that man cut off that little boy's head?

Sigh.

This is why we watch peppa pig.

I put away the iPad.

Fail.

"Let's go to the kitchen" I announce, faking sparkle. "Let's make paneer!"

I lead the way, the baby in my arms.

Reluctantly the 4-year old follows.

I'll be damned if I can't teach the boy Indian culture, I think to myself. One way or another, I shall NOT be outdone. And the best way I know of, is through food. Food is love, people. Food is love.

Here's what you need:

2 tbsp vegetable oil

400g Indian Paneer cheese cut into small cubes

1 pinch asafoetida (hing)

1 tsp mustard seeds

1 tsp cumin seeds

2 cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed

½ inch ginger, shredded thin

2 medium tomatoes, chopped

4 tbsp fresh grated or desiccated coconut 

2 tbsp tamarind sauce/paste

1 tbsp brown sugar

Here's how you do it:

Now, if you like, you can first fry the paneer lightly until its brown on all sides. This is definitely the purist way of doing things. But you don't have to. Just don't tell my mother in law :)

Now, heat a bit of oil in a pan and throw in the mustard and cumin seeds all at once. As soon they start to pop add the pinch of hing and the ginger-garlic and fry. Be careful - hing burns fast. 

Next, stir in the tomatoes and fry until cooked and soft. Finally, add in the tamarind, sugar and some salt to taste. You might need to add some water, but the desired constituency of the sauce in this dish is on the dry side, so keep it thick. Now, mix in the raw (or fried) paneer and cook till the paneer cubes are properly coated with the sauce. Add in the coconut and mix through.

This is a sublime dish guys - a wonderful example of true home-style Indian cooking - a bit of spice, a bit of sweet, a bit of sour, and a bit of heat. Notice how I haven't used any chills at all. Partly it's because I need my son to eat it, but also because you don't always need to douse Indian food with chilli powder to make it taste good. You get enough spice from the ginger in this dish, the brown sugar tempers it, the tamarind and tomatoes add tartness and the asafoetida harmonises the sweet-salty-sour elements wonderfully. After all, Indian cooking is all about getting that perfect balance of flavours, and this dish just hits home.

"Wah wah wah wah, kya baat hai" says a little voice.

I almost drop the frying pan on my toes.

"Whaaat?? Who taught you that?" I ask, in utter astonishment.

"Papa did."

I have to stop myself from laughing out loud.

Wouldn't have been that funny if I'd lost those toes.

I spoon out some of the Paneer on top of a bowl of steaming hot Basmati and watch, as it quickly disappears.

I hold my breath waiting to hear a "Can I just not have some pasta, mummy?"

But I don't.

Pass.

Heatwave Baguettes

When did England start getting this hot?
It's fairly impossible to do anything other than lie listlessly in the sun, drinking Lipton peach ice tea.
Which is what all of us having been doing of late.
Yeah, even the 8 month old.
He's been wearing sunglasses and 0+ bathing trunks and lying listlessly in the sun. Drinking not Lipton peach ice tea, I concede, but whatever - you get my drift.

Not that I'm complaining or anything.
I think the news events of the last week means I've given up my right to complain.
Who knew ideology could be so soul destroying?
So we're not complaining.
Nope. We are astonishingly content, baking away in this sweltering 33 degree oven. Life could be worse.

The ony problem of course is that we aren't doing very much else. Which enticing as it seems in theory, can't really go on endlessly. I mean, I wish one could spend forever idling away the days, lying listlessly in the sun, drinking Lipton peach ice tea.
But one can't.
Which is why I decided to get off my backside and post a bit.
Also because I figured I shouldn't be away too long, lest you think I'm having another baby.

I'm not.
Ever.
I've tied my tubes.
(Not really)

Anyway.
Moving on to far more interesting conversation.
Like the weather.
And lunch.

Which go hand in hand
Or hand in glove.
I think those two mean the same thing.
Or not.
I don't know. English is too complicated for me sometimes. Especially these-a-days.
Me no speak no English when England gets-a so hot.
It's a rebellion of sorts. 

The point is though, that when it's 33 degrees in this country, it's very, very difficult to make lunch. Because lunch - whatever it constitutes - usually necessitates going indoors, and indoors here is not really equipped to handle 33 degrees.  You see, us Brits have long been suspicious of Air conditioners – they seem an unnecessary indulgence somehow, unnatural in a climate more accustomed to umbrella stands and wellies. So we make do with opening windows. Which, sadly, is a rather ineffective strategy when there's no breeze for the open windows to let in. Come December, I will buy four Dyson fans for cheap. Right now, they're too expensive. You see, they know exactly when to make things expensive. It's right when you need them. Like the time to buy real fur coats (if you ever wanted real fur coats that is. I don't, but some people do, so anyway). So as I was saying, the time to buy real fur coats is NOW - in a heatwave. When you virtually want peel your skin off, you don't. You resist that temptation. Instead, you march off to the shops and try on fur coats. Because come winter, when the idea of a fur coat is actually mildly appealing - you can't touch 'em, they're so bloody expensive.
Same with the Dyson's. 
They're cheap when you don't need 'em.  But now, when I want nothing more than to lay naked on a bed of ice cubes, I can't afford 'em.
Ways of the world.

But I love them, the Dyson fans, utterly brilliant invention. Sometimes when no one's looking I stick my hand in and out, several times, just for fun. It entertains me. Not that Im suggesting you do the same. Seriously folks, for goodness sakes, please don't go trying this with normal fans. You'll lose some of those precious little fingers and really, I'd hate if that happened. I might even cry a little. I'm sensitive like that.

Oh and by the way, when I say I will buy four Dyson fans, I hope you know that four is a very deliberate number. And for those of you who are sitting there thinking, "aha, she means one for each member of her family, cho chweet etc.,"  I just need to make perfectly clear - you're wrong.
To hell with the others, I want four for me.
So I can sit in the middle, preferably on a soft duvet filled with goosedown, and position each of four Dyson's in the North, South, East and Westerly directions respectively, and bask in their bladeless glory.

Ahhh...
(Pinch me someone)
(Ouch)

Back to a harsher reality filled with duty, responsibility, accountability and all those dirty words, I made these baguettes for Saturday lunch today.
For several reasons:

1) I couldn't be bothered to make anything with even the remotest pretensions to grandeur.
2) I have children and children love them
3) I have a husband and husbands love them
4) I have me and me love them

And if you don't think that's reason enough - here's the kicker.

They're sooooo colourful and pretty.
Awww.
I love pretty.
Pretty makes me wobbly in the knees.
Hee.

So if you don't have much time to shop, prepare or cook, but you do have a cold fridge and fresh ingredients, this is for you!

Here's what you need:

Baguettes

Marinara or pizza sauce

1 clove peeled and garlic

dried basil

oregano

340g Mozzarella cheese, grated

340g Cheddar cheese, grated

Selected toppings: (Any or all)

For the dudes in my house - ham, pepperoni, parma ham, cooked bacon, salami

For the damsels (aka, me) - black and/or green olives, fresh sliced tomatoes, sun dried tomatoes, sliced mushrooms, sliced red onion, roasted peppers, jalapeno peppers or any other edible that your little heart desires.

Here's how you do it:

In a small bowl, mix together the pizza sauce and garlic. Add a couple of shakes of basil and mix well.

Slice each baguette in half lengthwise through the middle. Spread the tomato mixture thinly on to the inside surface of each slice. You can use pesto instead of marinara if you prefer - I live and die by this stuff.

Next, sprinkle both cheeses - as much or as little as you like - top with oregano and a variety of toppings as desired. Pop back into the oven and grill for 5-6 minutes  Or if you're living in a virtual oven, like I am at the moment, you might want to dispense with conventional means of cooking and try placing them under the sun. 

(That's a joke people, it won't work.)

So yup, you need to pop 'em in the oven until the cheese is melted and bubbling and the toppings are heated through.

Best enjoyed lying listlessly in the sun with a glass of Lipton peach ice tea. Enjoy!

Madras Coconut Shrimp

Do you know, this is about the tastiest stuff that's ever touched my lips.

And if you think that's quite the plaudit, it is.

But it's true.

So I praise the Lord for giving us coconut

And for giving us shrimp

And for imbuing such genius to the unknown, unnamed vendor on Madras's Marina Beach who first made it for me.

First things first, I call this Madras Coconut Shrimp because it will always be Madras to me.

It might be Chennai to everyone else, but it was never Chennai when I was there as a little girl - just Madras.  And so to me, it will only ever be Madras.

So, these prawns are from Madras. And more specifically from Marina Beach - that long, wide stretch of golden sand, extending from St. George's Fort to Santhome, where I used to go for long walks with my dad, just him and me. We'd drive up to the beach, park on the side of the road and walk along the coastline, all the way to the very end, past the Triumph of Labour statue, till the lighthouse stood tall and the land ended.

We would always go at dusk - even a few minutes earlier meant that the heat would be oppressive. So we'd time it perfectly, arriving just as the sun set, painting the sky in vivid shades of purple and pink, and just as we'd start to walk, the sky would turn dark and the first lights of the night would flicker on over the horizon. 

I don't think we spoke much on these walks, my dad and I. Or maybe we did and I just can't remember. What I do remember is that he'd always wear his shoes, but I'd always kick mine off and hold them in my hand. I loved the feel of the sand, soft and warmed by the days sun, against my bare feet. So we'd walk and sometimes I would need to run to keep pace with his long strides. Sometimes he would grab my hand and pull me closer when I'd venture too close to the sea. I loved when he did that.

Marina Beach isn't one of those secluded beaches that you stumble upon and decide to spend a couple of hours with a good read and the sound of waves gently kissing the sand.

No chance.

The waters here aren't calm. Here along the Coromandel Coast, the Bay of Bengal crashes angrily into the shoreline creating an undercurrent so powerful that makes it virtually impossible to swim in. And yet, there is something uplifting about it's spirit, something magnificent about it's ferocity. 

If I close my eyes, I still hear it, see it - the crash of those waves, the swell of the ocean, the foam-crusted surf.

The beach is not quiet. It's frenetic. Buzzing with an almost infectious energy.

Families picnicking; children wading into the sea, shrieking with excitement; women braving the waves, sarees pulled up to their knees, bright colours billowing in the wind; joggers and walkers in a bid to keep fit; lovers strolling coyly, hand in hand, away from prying eyes; a random womens' beach-aerobic class...

...Yes, in my memory, it is always crowded. But never in a bad way. Perhaps because we'd always walk along the edge of the water, people on one side, the vast expanse of dark ocean on the other. It balanced out.

And where there are crowds, there are crowd-pleasers. And so, there were vendors everywhere. Ice cream man, murukku man, candy floss man, balloon man, all crying out their wares, in that repetitive catchy musical way only street vendors do, their honeyed voices being carried with the wind along the whole stretch of beach.

I was never allowed to eat any of it.

You can't trust the water, don't know where their hands have been, you'll get terribly sick etc. etc.

The only thing I was ever allowed - once in a blue moon when my father was in an especially indulgent mood and only under the condition that I was never ever in a million years to let this slip to my mother - were these coconut prawns. And only because they were cooked in such hot oil, any germs that dared venture near, were probably annihilated on the spot.

And so, wild with excitement, I'd take the money from my dad - a few rupees in coins - and run to the makeshift cart on wheels, shaded by a sunshine-yellow umbrella, illuminated by bare bulbs hanging from strings in a line.  And I'd watch the vendor - that unknown, unnamed genius - reach into a pit of marinated prawns and throw them expertly into his sizzling pan. He'd twirl them around in the hot oil for just a couple of minutes, then slide them into a paper cone made from yesterdays newspaper. He'd salt them generously, then ask if I wanted ketchup on top but I wasn't allowed ketchup (fake ketchup, who knows what it really is, how long ago it's been made, dirty hands, dirty bottle etc. etc) 

So I'd always shake my head shyly, and hand him the coins in exchange for the cone.

I'd pop those shrimp - golden fried, hot and crunchy - into my mouth, one at a time, savouring each one completely before the next one went in.  And by the time we'd walk back to the car, they'd be gone, only the salt gathered in a soft white mound at the bottom of the cone, the black print already blurry from the oil - yesterdays news fading fast. 

And so, this is for those memorable moments of your life, because when I pop these into my mouth, it takes me back to the memorable moments of my life.

To the taste of sea salt.

And the sand between my toes.

And the cries of the balloon man carrying with the wind.

Here's what you need:

450g shrimp, peeled and deveined

45g cornflour

4 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce

150g sweetened shredded coconut (dessicated)

2 egg whites

Here's how you do it:

Please note that the Marina Beach version is (very) deep fried.  I'm baking my coconut shrimp. Mostly in response to my lovely neighbour who called this morning asking me how I could love food so much and still be "so thin" - This is why: I cheat.

So here we go:

Preheat oven to 200C

Rinse shrimp thoroughly under running water and pat dry.

Mix the shredded coconut with cornflour, salt and Worcestershire sauce. Beat egg whites until light and frothy. Working with one shrimp at a time, dip the shrimp in egg whites and then coat with coconut mixture. I like to do this again, just to form a double coating. Now place shrimp in the oven and bake for 15-20 minutes until the prawns are cooked through and the coconut coating is crispy-brown and aromatic.

If you want to deep fry instead, I'm never going to stop you! Just heat some vegetable oil in a deep skillet, and when you've coated the shrimp as above, work in batches and fry about 2-3 minutes until golden brown and crispy.  Enjoy!